the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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