Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
