maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
