writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
