My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
