Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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