Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
sex in a hospital.. check
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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