butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
