I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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