white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
