Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
