Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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