You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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