why im i the only drunk person in the library?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
