sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
