what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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