your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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