Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize