just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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