There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
