so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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