dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
