Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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