He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize