actually, I'm a sock model
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just googled if crying burns calories
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
