He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
