Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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