she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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