Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
