I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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