I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize