Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
