Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
