she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
