I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
