If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
