Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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