all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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