you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
