The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
