That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
