you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
