He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
