I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We left the knife in your bed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
