Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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