Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I just sharted jello shots
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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