the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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