So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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