Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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