I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize