I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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