She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
