She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
