im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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