THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
