she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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