Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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