she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
