am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
