she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
