i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize