What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
