How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
