chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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