white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
