Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize