If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
