Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the day after is always just damage control
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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