Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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