dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
