Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
