whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
