Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
