Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
