this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
