This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
