the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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