he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
